Love is infinitely vulnerable...so much that when you rip love, what comes out of the tear is more love.

	-Anonymous www.roamthewoods.com

This will always be what I compare my mother too.

She is Wonder Woman.

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Can we imagine a new life?

Missing Lori, right now.  Miss the comfort of being alone and being able to be sad, without judgement.  Being able to try to wring what is good out of my life and focus on that.  Instead of how I  feel right now.  It is better to feel alone when you are alone, then feel alone when you are right next to people.

What next, where to, how will I weather my current storm?

Every moment becomes a complicated string of emotion, as history and past builds.  When the slate becomes blank, it fills it self up much too quickly.  Trying to walk a good path, sometimes things go a little askew.  Clarity is something set to the side, if it was ever a part of the process in the first place.  I forget myself and still am moving forward. How does this occur?

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Do you ever get transported to feeling like you are back in "small kid time"?  Not those good moments of child like wonder or innocence, if those were your experiences, instead those garbage bag full of used clothes experiences, advantage being taken of you moments for being small, for being poor, for not being fully something ever.  Unfortunate that it still happens even now....

My first large mouth bass.  He put up a good fight.  One step closer to self-sufficiency, this life too is precious.  Don't mean to make it as simple as that.  

Sometimes moving forward I feel like I am moving back.  Having dreams again is nice, but having dreams of my own are even better.  There is no waiting around for a fairy tale to happen, or all events to be perfect.  Independence seems to be left at the wayside a bit.  I don't yet know how to step forward out of this.  Out of these moments strung together.  For now much, much more good then bad.  Fluctuation is life, though.  Change is life.

Imagine separating life, into pieces and bits, bad, good, pain, emotion into snapshots of moments.  To live completely in the moment and not be the future.  To always be okay with alone except for now, this very moment.  Forget the complicated pieces, only see piercing blue eyes and snow falling.  Forget history.

Every moment is perfect.  Blank slate, drawn, laid, set.

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Man's search for meaning.

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Moments are choices pieced together to experience.

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