Saturday, April 23, 2011

If I had realized,
that I was hanging hopes for nothing,
dreaming of dreams in plural instead of singular.

If I had been myself.
I would have re-defined the art of solitude.
Instead of extending my boundaries of patience
for one person.

Testing my self worth on whims
of fickle personality.
I sold myself out a long time ago
for a chance.

A chance that was never a true chance
at anything.

Now, again, I am in the waiting space.
And I don't want to wait.



I am not fighting the good fight anymore.  I am fighting to survive.  Fighting to find out what one singular thing means to me.  Finding out it may not mean anything at all and that broken is broken.  No matter how many ways you have patched it up.  For now dreaming is a good background for living.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

I would like to know the truth.  
Not segments or fragments, that I get to piece together
to create a story.
Not minute puzzle pieces that are gaping with holes.
I want to know the whole story
so my decisions
can have a solid foundation.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Contentment

Contentment is
two memories, enjoying the Spring warmth in Kentucky, after what always seemed like a long winter.  Soaking in the sun while laying in the grass next to my brothers dog, Diega after a good run and a great game of ball throwing.

Taking a nap in the sun, on bales of hay, we just loaded by hand on to the flat bed dog truck with a friend.  The tiredness of good work, the brilliant warmth of the sun, good company, and the best sleep.

Being alone would be okay for right now.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Perfection

I feel broken.  Yoda is unspeakably perfect in all his imperfect ways.  Broken him, no never.  He still has the capacity for love and friendship with humans, which is a lot more then I feel I have right now.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Apache Blessing

For now I have no words, but all blessings my friends.


May the sun bring you new energy by day. 
May the moon softly restore you by night. 
May the rain wash away your worries. 
May the breeze blow new strength into your being. 
May you walk gently through the world and know it's beauty all the days of your life. 
- Apache blessing